Every town has that one person who’s just a little different, whether it’s the guy who makes statues out of sheet metal or the local diner owner who also happens to run a cat shelter out of their home. They are the kind of people that give a place its character and soul. In a town in Colorado, they have Vince Rozmiarek, who erects funny signs to brighten up people’s days. Here are some of his most recent and funniest signs to date – and they’re sure to make you laugh out loud!
Someone's Getting Scolded
This pun is really funny, but it’s also kind of painful. We know firsthand how much heating bills can run, so even thinking about leaving the front door open makes us wince a bit. Vince wrote “My landlord wants to talk about the high heating bills. I told him my door is always open.” Imagine your landlord actually coming up to you and asking about the bill, and you responding with this.
You’d probably get a pretty shocked reaction before getting scolded and having to explain that you weren’t actually leaving the front door open, at least we hope not.
You Can't Not Laugh At This
Vince the sign guy is known for his clever puns. It’s kind of a hallmark of his, and this sign is no different. We’re not sure how he came up with this one, but if there are any fruit farmers in town, we’re sure they got a good laugh out of this sign. It reads, “Fruit farmers eat what they can and can what they can’t.” In other words, it’s referencing the fact that they can a lot of fruit.
Actually, you don’t even really have to be a fruit farmer to get a good laugh out of this pun. We’re sure everyone who passed it by on the road chuckled at least a bit.
In It For The Long Haul
Getting over any addiction takes a lot of willpower. It doesn’t matter what kind of program or method you choose to help you. We’re glad Vince is finally tackling his hiking addiction, but from the looks of this pun, it sounds like he still has some work to do. He hasn’t even made it out of the woods yet, just imagine how he’s going to feel once he gets home.
In all seriousness, though, we kind of feel him on this one. It can be tough cutting back on time spent in the woods or out on the water. Luckily, we don’t have to. Maybe we have a problem?
Another Incredible Pun
This is probably one of our favorites on this list just because it’s so clever. It reads, “I bought a fake koi fish… It’s my dekoi.” The best puns are simple and surprising. Who doesn’t love koi fish and couldn’t relate to this one? Now, every time we come across a koi pond, we’re going to be thinking about this joke and maybe even checking out the koi to make sure they’re all real.
Honestly, if you’re lucky enough to have a koi pond at home, it isn’t a bad idea to put a dekoi in there to fool birds and other predators.
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
Part of the reason we enjoy this sign so much is the simple fact that it reminds us of playing hide and seek when we were kids. Like, seriously, when was the last time you played? Anyway, this sign can be read in two different ways. On the one hand, Vince could be complaining that he can’t find anyone else to play hide and seek with. We feel him on that.
On the other hand, he could be seeing that those who are really good at hide and seek are just really hard to find, which is what makes this sign so great.
Here's A Pun For Hawaii
We’re pretty sure that everyone’s heard the term aloha before. It’s used to say hello and goodbye in Hawaiian. However, if you break it down, as Vince did here, you can come up with a pun like “Laughing out loud is forbidden in Hawaii because it’s a low ha state.” In other words, it’s a state where they laugh quietly. This one is pretty clever, and we’ve never thought of aloha like that before.
Of course, if you’ve ever been to Hawaii, then you probably know that they do nothing but laugh quietly there, and the people very much enjoy a good laugh or two.
So, It Was All Just A Dream?
Here’s another banger by Vince the sign man. “When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.” He’s playing off the phrase, “a figment of your imagination,” but honestly, we like this one just as much. Could you even imagine dreaming in only color? What would that even be like? Would there be images or patterns? What about words? Vince might’ve actually stumbled onto something surprisingly deep here.
He can probably add making people think deeply about things to his list of skills, right alongside making people laugh and brightening up their day. It’s not a bad set of skills to have.
Something Sticky Is Going On Here
We’re curious as to what exactly Vince did to warrant something like this. Putting glue on a firearm is kind of sketchy, especially if it’s put in or near the chamber. Vince writes, “I think my wife is putting glue on my firearms. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.” We could just imagine someone’s hand being superglued to a pistol or rifle and not being able to break free.
We’d imagine a firearm is one of the last things you’d want your hand glued to, especially if you have to walk into a hospital to get medical help.
It Had An Exam Coming Up
This one made us chuckle pretty hard when we first saw it. However, you need to be familiar with Adderall to get it. Adderall is the drug that’s given to those with ADHD so that they can focus better. Hence, the partying Ford Fiesta turned into a Ford Focus when Adderall was left in the car. Maybe we’re just easily entertained, but it’s clever and our favorite model of car is a Ford.
However, it also got us thinking. The company must have a really arbitrary naming system to have models like the Fiesta, Focus, Escape, and Explorer. They’re all just verbs.
Sounds Like An Episode Of "Cops"
Honestly, this pun could and probably has happened many times in real life. We could see a guy, for whatever reason, wearing nothing but their underwear and fleeing from the cops through a field or leading cops on a car chase. In fact, we’re pretty sure nearly every episode of Cops featured at least one chase scene like this. Just imagine being a cop and having to tackle a criminal wearing nothing but boxers.
Honestly, we’d probably prefer to just chase them and let them go, depending on exactly what it is they did, of course. Sometimes, you’d probably just have to tackle them whether you really wanted to or not.
The Ultimate Debate: Tea Or Coffee?
If you really think about it, tea and coffee drinkers have this really weird relationship that’s not outright hostile but also not warm. Maybe it’s because tea used to be the drink of choice for most people around the world, but now that distinction probably goes to coffee. Whatever the reason, this sign made us chuckle. He wrote, “I got booted from the coffee club because I wore a tea shirt.”
It’s pretty clever, but it also begs the question: what exactly are you allowed to wear to the coffee club? Is it only long sleeves and dress shirts? Sounds too fancy to us.
Education Is The Key To Success
While we certainly know that a lot of the kids that go to boarding school probably don’t want to be there and boarding school usually isn’t anything like what you see in movies and on T.V., there’s still something kind of fascinating about it. At least, if you’re on the outside looking in. That aside, this is a really clever play on words using the “boarding” from boarding school from Vince the sign guy.
We’re sure you learn more than how to get on an airplane when you’re sent off to boarding school, but again, we’ve never been, so maybe it is really overrated.
It's Good To Reflect On Work From Time To Time
Believe it or not, there really is a job out there where people inspect mirrors. Or, at least, there are people who restore old mirrors. Maybe that’s what Vince was referring to when he wrote this sign, which reads “Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.” Honestly, it sounds like a pretty cool job, but starring at yourself all day also sounds like it’d be a bit tiresome.
You’d have to be a borderline narcissist to enjoy something like that. It’s just you and your reflection for hours on end, slowly doing whatever it is mirror inspectors do.
Cut Out The Adjectives And Adverbs
A lot of people don’t really realize how important it is to have an editor. Whether it be an editor who works with words or one who works with photos and video, it’s important. They basically do exactly what this sign says: they cut out all the filler and make things concise and to the point, sort of like this sign. We wonder if Vince the sign guy has an editor.
If so, they did a great job with this pun by making it short and sweet. It skips the long story and gets straight to the punchline as it should.
But Did He Walk Or Drive?
If you’ve ever worked with paint before, then you know paint thinner basically does exactly what it sounds like. It helps thin paint that’s too thick. It can also help clean oil-based paints. We’re not sure if Vince knew that before heading out to the store to pick some up, but from the looks of this sign, he returned to the house pretty depressed. No worries, though, a couple hundred more trips, and he might start seeing some progress.
Getting thinner just takes persistence and willpower, something we imagine Vince has a lot of. He has to in order to make so many funny signs as often as he does.
A Pun For Science Lovers
This one requires a bit of knowledge about science. It reads, “I wanted to marry a carbon 14 expert, but all she wanted to do was date.” Carbon 14 is a radioactive isotope used to date really old objects. However, poor Vince could also mean that the expert didn’t want to marry him and instead wanted just to date. It’s a really clever pun, and there’s nothing we love more than science references in jokes.
However, it does make us wonder what the specialist is actually dating. We bet that’d probably be one of the coolest jobs out there and you’d get to see all kinds of different things.
A Fulfilling Hobby
Here’s another pun where Vince the sign man may have accidentally stumbled upon some real wisdom. He wrote, “It doesn’t make any cents but volunteering is rewarding.” It’s true. You won’t even make a cent when you volunteer, but that’s not the point. It’s a rewarding thing to do and most people volunteer to give them a sense of purpose. Helping others is great, but you can’t do that if you don’t feel good about yourself.
Once again, the sign man surprises us. We wouldn’t be surprised if this sign inspired a couple of drivers to actually go out and donate their time to an organization.
Not All Interest Is Good
It’s usually a good thing when someone’s interested in you. It means you might be doing something right. However, rarely do we hear people say they’re happy to receive interest from bankers, and for good reason. This sign is actually financial advice wrapped up in a clever pun. It reads, “Being in debt attracts a lot of interest from bankers.” Of course, he means monetary interest in this sense.
After all, that’s how they make their money on things like loans. So, the moral of the story is to try not to get yourself into too much debt; otherwise, you’ll be forced to pay a lot of interest.
We've All Been Here Before
Without a doubt, one of the most frustrating things you can do is go somewhere or walk into a room and completely blank out on why you’re there. Luckily, Vince the sign guy seems to have solved that annoying problem. “I wear memory foam insoles to remember why I walked into the next room,” he wrote. Of course, it’s just a joke, but one we actually wished really worked.
Unfortunately, all memory foam insoles do is help your back and feet stay comfortable, which we guess is good too. Now we just need something like that for the brain.
Someone's In The Doghouse
Here’s another really clever pun that made us laugh out loud when we first read it. We’re not sure exactly what it is that Vince did, but it must’ve been pretty bad because he wrote, “I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones I’m getting lately.” Sounds like he really messed up, meaning he probably deserves all of those bad looks he’s getting. Still, we can’t help but feel a little sorry for him.
Hopefully, it’s just a rough patch, and the two can get things fixed soon. Until then, Vince is probably going to get a lot more looks from both his wife and those driving by reading his signs.
